Losing a best friend sucks.
For all intents and purposes, the man I called my best friend and I are done. While it is mostly a mutual decision, I still wish it weren’t happening.
The pain of loss is hard – whether it’s from separating from someone you deeply care about or losing someone in death. In my case, it feels like there’s a hole that just leaves me empty.
I wonder why letting go is so hard. Is it just that change is difficult, or is it something deeper?
For me, I know that I am not always a huge fan of change. I get in to a routine or familiar with something, and it becomes comfortable.
When I’m uncomfortable, that’s when I really get anxious and want an “easy” fix.
In the case of losing my best friend, I don’t think the “fix” is going to be so easy. I am using my coping skills – including listening to music, walking and interacting with others – but those are not going to satisfy the feeling of loss.
For now, I just have to remember – letting go is hard.